Elizabeth's story

 His behaviour changed rapidly. I know I should have recognized it, but when you’re inside a situation it’s hard to get perspective.

One day my daughter called me crying saying my ex had threatened to hit her in the head with a hammer. I called the police and they removed him from the house and I got a restraining order the next day.

After a month, I went to the judge and asked him to rescind the order because I couldn’t imagine this man hurting us. Then on January 13, my whole life changed.

I heard a policeman say, “Oh this is just a domestic violence case”, five feet from where my child lay dead

When my ex entered the house, my daughter was awake. I heard an argument. I came into the living area to try and calm her down. Her eyes were wide with fear – she could see him approaching with a gun. When I turned around shots rang. I managed to dial 911. I couldn’t talk because [my face] was shot up, but they traced the call home. The police came, then the medical team.

I heard a policeman say, “Oh this is just a domestic violence case.” He was just five feet from where I was fighting for my life and where my child lay dead. There was nothing “just” about it.

My entire face was reconstructed because the bullets tore it apart. I was in a coma for almost a month. When I woke up, I was hit with the reality of the situation. My brother and sister refused to bury my daughter without me. I had to go to therapy to learn to use my muscles, but a lot of it they couldn’t fix. I can’t blow my nose. My lips are still numb and when I’m eating and drinking I don’t know if something is too hot until I get a blister. It’s been a struggle.

We must get people to understand that they’re not in it by themselves

I’ve talked to women who dated my ex and they’ve mentioned he was violent with them. Had I known he’d been abusive with other women, I wouldn’t have made him a part of my life.

The first time somebody asked me to talk about what happened, it was hard. It’s hard every time. But if it changes one life, it matters to me. Domestic violence is such a personal issue and it’s a secret. We must get people to understand that they’re not in it by themselves.

I’ve met young women and men who’ve heard my story and said it changed them. It gives them the courage to reach out and ask for help.